The Mystery of the Lost Box
- Julie Greenwalt
- Feb 4
- 5 min read
Systems Gone Wrong
I was so careful while packing up our house in Alabama. We were about to go full-time on the road again in our fifth wheel. So with the luxury of time, I labeled boxes, took pictures of the contents, and staged long-term storage boxes separately from boxes that would travel with us.
I did everything right, I thought. All to no avail.
An Ever-Shifting Plan
Our end goal, after RVing as long as we want or can, is to live near family in Oklahoma. So it made sense for us to make a quick trip there to rent and fill a storage unit with our non-traveling stuff before setting off on our new RV season. And this time I knew what I didn't need for traveling. Easy-peasy.
Then the plan changes hit, one after the other. First, our house took longer to sell than expected. Maybe we should take it off the market and make it our storage while we RV’ed the country? We’d save a trip to Oklahoma that way.
Plan change 2: the house sold. So we stuffed boxes into our old Ford F-350 and enlisted strong young men to help us load a U-Haul trailer, ready to head west to Oklahoma.
Plan change 3: The Ford sold. Oops. We unloaded all the boxes from the old Ford and reloaded them into the new Ram 2500. And finally set off west.
Don’t get me wrong: we were glad and grateful the house and truck sold. Nice chunk of change in our pockets to start our new travel season. And having options (otherwise known as contingency plans) is nice. But during the days of uncertainty I couldn’t help wishing things would just be settled so we could move forward with confidence.
Losing the Control I Thought I Had
As mentioned, we had plenty of time to pack up, organize, and stage where each box would go. So once we hit the road, locating whatever I wanted in RV life should have been easy. Just like laundry, which moves from the laundry basket to the washer, to the dryer, and back into our drawers and closets, our boxes moved into specific locations according to their destination: Oklahoma storage or RV. What could go wrong?
Enter the lost socks syndrome.
Not long after moving into the fifth wheel I began asking questions. Where’s my silicone spatula? What did I do with the extra bottle of shampoo? And what happened to our wooden adventure sign? That one really hurt. Our daughter Melissa had it made especially for us to hang at each campsite. I specifically recall packing a roll of twine with the sign to use for hanging. So where is it?
Just as socks disappear in the laundry process, an odd assortment of things intended for the fifth wheel were missing. The only explanation that made sense was that particular box accidentally got loaded with the Oklahoma storage stuff. But how did that happen?! I was so careful!
Then one day a month into full-time RV life, Roger climbed into the fifth wheel with a box he’d noticed in the back seat of the truck. Could this be The Box? We videoed the Grand Opening, hoping it’d be like Christmas. (You can see it on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jgreenwalt2).
Sadly, it wasn’t. The mystery remained.
And that’s when I realized, it’s not about the spatula or even the sign. It’s about losing track of something I thought was under control.
Finding Peace When We Lose Control
Even with time, a system, and careful documentation, I still messed up. There I was, going along with good feelings, peace, and clarity (mostly) about what I was doing and where we were headed. But what I couldn’t see was the moment when things were taken out of my hands. Whether it was my own or a helper's mistake, my box was no longer where I thought it was.
There’s a great little book by Spencer Johnson I recommend for everyone on the planet. It’s called Who Moved My Cheese? Yes, it’s about mice. It’s also about dealing with change, acknowledging what control we have and don't have. What do you do when things change, plans get waylaid, and you don’t get what you want? How do you address stress generated by circumstances you can’t control? What does finding peace look like when you're surrounded by chaos?
Whether it’s lost socks or a lost box, losing control of your stuff can put a major damper on your life. While losing a box of odds and ends is small compared to losses like unemployment or illness, the emotions it triggers are familiar.
Choosing Trust Over Control
Here's what I shared about control in my book, Turning Your Inner Bullies Into Allies: "In the world you and I live in, the sneaky underlying assumption is that to be a good woman, a good parent, a good spouse, a good friend, a good team player, a good Christian, all I have to do is try harder. That’s the control bully at work."
As I search for that lost box, I catch myself thinking, You should have given this more thought, come up with a better system, checked everything more than once. You see, when the control bully teams up with the perfectionist bully, I find myself believing the lie that I can be perfect, or worse, that I must be perfect to be loved, valued, or admired.
And what helps my shoulders relax, what allows me to drop a burden that's not mine to carry, is the reminder that I'm not required to get it right every time. I'm only required to remember,
I have a Savior who accepts me by grace, not by what I can do.
My perspective needs to be based on eternity, not just today.
My role is to be a manager, not an owner, of all God has given me.
I know exactly where my real treasure is stored.
So whether it’s lost socks, a devastating personal loss, or a rogue box I’m still hoping to find in Oklahoma, with God’s help and His perspective, we can loosen our grip on what we thought we controlled and instead rest in His security.
(Watch this blog for an update about that lost box.)
If this story resonates, you might enjoy these stories about how perspective shapes our response to change:
And for more about how to tame the inner bullies love to misdirect our thinking, pick up a copy of Turning Your Inner Bullies Into Allies So You Can Love Like Jesus, due to be released in early 2026.
Loss has a way of stirring up our inner bullies, especially the control bully. Have you noticed how it shows up when things don’t go as planned? Share in the comments below.
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